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My Spiritual Experience

Spiritual Awakening by Daniel B. Holeman

By Dale Askew

By day I am Dale, a normal 25 year old young man who works as a graphic designer. But at night I travel the different astral planes helping trapped souls who don't realize they are dead. Gradually I started understanding how it all works, the different planes, how they are connected, how to navigate between them. I learnt how to manifest objects at will and move objects with my mind. Gradually I realized that the only thing that existed was my mind!

This is how it began...

It was about 6 years ago, before I was interested in this spiritual thing at all. I was just laying there on my bed one morning thinking the usual stuff you think about before you get out of bed. I had my eyes closed and I was still quite tired but I knew I had to get up soon so I made the effort. Oh dear! I couldn't move - I had sleep paralysis. I had felt this before and knew that with enough effort I could wiggle out of it. But I couldn't! After about a minute I realized that I was completely stuck. I was incredibly awake, though, in my mind. I though it was quite amusing at first but as the time went on I got scared. What if I am stuck like this forever? I was getting really panicky! My entire body was frozen. What if they think I am dead and bury me alive? I thought!!

Ahhh!! A few more minutes went past and in that time I realized that I was still talking to myself, still conscious and I spent a little while, for the first time in my life, actually questioning what I was. Am I just a brain? What am I? I was asking myself. I had a really bad feeling that I had actually died, and what I was experiencing was the last few electrical pulses of my brain. I felt really sad but realized that there was nothing I could do. I felt quite calm and decided just to slip off in to 'death' (which I thought was the end, just nothingness).

As I relaxed a small blue 'ring' appeared. As soon as I thought about it, it went away again. I relaxed once more and this blue ring came back - it slowly got bigger and bigger. As soon as I 'engaged my mind' and thought about the blue ring it simply floated back the other way. For a few moments I was playing with this blue ring making it get smaller and bigger. In the end I just relaxed, ignored this steadily increasing blue ring and just 'let things happen.'

The ring got bigger and bigger until....... BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seemed to go 'through' the blue ring and I was quite amazed to find myself actually floating about in my bedroom! I knew I was still this consciousness thing and I could tell I had no body. I started floating around my room. Wow this is great, I thought! But then, like a ton-of bricks, a realization hit me. I was really dead (well so I thought)! I thought about my family and friends and felt sad. I was dead. The end.......

But then another realization hit me! I WAS ACTUALLY STILL ALIVE!!!! I realized that I WAS NOT MY BRAIN! I didn't know exactly what I was but I knew that I was a point of consciousness that was currently floating around my bedroom. Yes! I thought. There really is life after death!!!!!!

As soon as I thought that last thought there was another BOOM and I was back in my bed, unparalyzed. I quickly told my girlfriend what had happened and that we all lived forever (I was really exited) but she just told me that I was dreaming (something I have heard many times from different people). But I still KNOW that it was definitely no dream. It really happened.

About four years ago (when I was 21) I was getting quite 'into' all this alternative stuff. I was having regular out of body experiences and definitely knew I had started on a path to something. I was questioning my life and what I had been led to believe all these years and I realized that everything might not be as it seemed.

When I was ready one day I asked myself the ultimate question: "What is it all about?" I then went into a meditative trance state and had the most unimaginable, unexplainable experience you could possibly have.

I was paralyzed, I had somehow slipped into a trance, yet I was totally conscious. Unlike when this happened before, this time I couldn't get out of it. "Whats going on?" I asked in my mind again. "You wanted to know what its all about," came the thought back...

Bang! All of a sudden I woke up. Very strange, I thought and sat up. Whatever happened? Bang! I woke up again! Still lying in my bed! Wow, I thought I woke up but I didn't! Weird. Bang! I woke once more. This is getting freaky I thought! Bang! Awake! Bang......... Bang....... Bang.....bang..... Bang.... Bang... Bang.. BanBanBaBBBBB... These 'false awakenings' got faster and faster and faster until they were producing a constant stream. There was 'No-Time' between these false awakenings. At that point something amazing happened.

I realized I was not Dale. I was something else, something greater. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I REMEMBERED who I was. I was pure consciousness, I was ALL THAT EXISTED. I was NOTHINGNESS! I was GOD! God was me!

I thought AS GOD - I remembered the reason for creating life. It was the most painful, undescribable loneliness ever, yet at the same time the most wonderful joyful experience as I (being God) created life. Light from the darkness. Life - a positive choice. I realized that I was God and God lived through me (and everybody else, also being me). I understood the true meaning of the One, as that is all that ever has and will exist. No time, only one continuous moment - now. Consciousness is the only thing that exists.

I now had a life! I was still this 'pure consciousness / God' but out of my loneliness I had created life out of myself and now (as Dale) I was experiencing it - actually living it! Through Me (being God) I had chosen life. Positive from negative, light from darkness, everything from nothingness. Everything made sense! I was so happy! The tears were now tears of joy! I was not alone anymore! I thanked God again and again for creating us, knowing that I was as much him (her/it whatever) as he was me!

No wonder he loves us because he is us! No wonder we should love each other because we are all parts of the same one consciousness!

Everything was perfect! For the first time it all made sense. I suddenly went from not believing in a 'God' to believing 100% and understanding him as well. All those kids who think he is an old man with a white beard who sits on a cloud!! I also realized existence was made instantaneously and there is no such thing as time. We live in that one moment where He chose life. It will last for eternity because He never wants to experience such pain of loneliness again.

That was where my journey started. I didn't like to believe in my experiences at first as I thought it was my ego wanting to say 'I am above everybody else.' So I convinced myself that it was impossible that I had experienced 'the ultimate' or merged to the source. I realized that I couldn't 'prove' my experience to anybody but putting up with the ridicule just made me stronger. I realized what a closed-minded bunch of people the majority of humans were and I realized that there was so much more to learn about life. I knew we lived forever, so that led me to the big question.... "So what's the purpose of this life?" I made it the goal for the rest of my life to find out!


Peter Shepherd, publisher of this site, asked Dale a number of questions...

1. What abilities do you have that are unusual?

Hmm, all my abilities are unusual to the people around me but to the readers of your web site my abilities may seem quite normal. I think my main 'unusual ability' is the fact that I can help stuck spirits, a bit like in the 'Sixth Sense' film, but with me travelling to them rather than them to me... I do this through being out of my body - either intentionally or from 'waking' myself from a dream (but remaining on the dream plane).

2. How do you find your friends and family react when you tell them of your abilities and experiences? Do you continue anyway but in secret? Do others know of your work?

I hint at what I do to most people and the ones that follow my hints and ask questions and basically seem genuinely interested are the ones whom I discuss things further with. There are hardly any of these 'open' people that I know! I've met about 3 genuinely interested people since it started! I soon learnt the hard way that most people only mock me and have very closed minds, so I 'protect' myself now by being careful with what I say! People are scared.

3. How exactly were your unusual skills acquired? E.g. the ability to travel out of body; operating on other planes; contacting, communicating and helping discarnate beings; etc.

The only way I can describe it is that it's as if I was trained to do it since I was young, in my dreams. All my most vivid dreams I now look back on and see that 'they' were training me to work with the astral 'material', which I found out later would make it possible for me to help trapped spirits.

For instance, I would have a recurring lucid dream every night where I was in my bathroom and I 'knew' I had to shut the bathroom door. The harder I pushed it the more open it would get - I couldn't push it shut! but over the years I found that I could shut the door with my mind. When I first shut the bathroom door I turned round to see a group of people clapping me. It didn't make sense at the time but it does now.

The other time I got a round of applause (while dreaming) was when I realized I was in a dream and I noticed a lady offering sex to me. Most people including myself would normally go with the 'urge' but this one time I actually turned her down (which was hard to do!) but I felt like I should make more of my lucid experience... I politely declined her offer and she turned into somebody else! Then I noticed a load of people around me again and they were all clapping!!! I had the feeling I had made a giant step forward.

Another time I was talking to a man and he gradually took me down through the different 'denseness' levels and I was noticing how hard it was becoming to stop my self getting 'lost in the illusion', the deeper down I went through these planes. A bit like at the end of 'What Dreams May Come' where Robbin Williams nearly loses it. There have been loads of these 'training sessions' happening and to be honest I can't really explain them with words.

4. What was the first hint you had of psychic ability and how did you develop it?

Well I was unaware of anything psychic till I was about 19. I couldn't care less - I was happy partying, drinking etc. Until one day when I suddenly was ejected from my body and found myself floating about in my room. I thought I had died!! After that I always had the feeling that I should investigate what happened because it could be the most important event in my life - realizing I lived beyond my physical body. And it was. I learnt how to leave my body at will through tips on the Internet! After that all my childhood experiences made sense.

5. Any particular information, technique or teacher - or was it all intuitive and learning from mistakes? In which case, what were the mistakes and what did you learn from them?

A bit of everything really. I read books, I looked on the internet, half I read was useful, the other half was rubbish and was probably written to stop me in a way. I don't read books that much any more because all my new 'findings' come from within me, through simply meditating and asking questions. The answers don't come in English, they come in feelings, and the trick is interpreting the feelings and trusting them. I am currently learning about multi-dimensional personalities - all through myself, no books! I will share with you what I have 'realized' once I understand it myself!! The best teacher I ever had was 'them' (Higher Self? Spirit guides?). The way they taught me was a pain in the arse and some nights I would beg them to appear and speak in English! But now I realize they couldn't have taught me better any other way. WE ALREADY HAVE ALL ANSWERS INSIDE OF OURSELVES - BY RELYING ON OTHERS WE ARE GIVING OUR POWER AWAY. They taught me to use my own power and for that I am eternally grateful.

6. What was the sequence you discovered the various skills you practice, and do you have some stories to go with each each?

The sequence, briefly:

7. You say that "Since then I have had experience after experience, each time gaining a better and better insight and understanding." Could you give some examples?

These experiences are so tiny and wouldn't make much sense even if I could try to explain them, they are just realizations, like experiences which at the time don't make sense... then something will happen in my life and it will all click into place - "That's what that was about, now I see!!!" People MUST pay attention to coincidences - there is so much to notice and learn if only people were aware.

8. You say you learnt how to leave your body at will through tips on the Internet. And that half of what you found on the Net was useful, half was rubbish. Can you outline the method that you have found workable to successfully leave the body? What tips would you give to a person who wants to start to develop their abilities in this way?

I will quickly tell you the main methods I use now:

1) lay on bed, relax completely, build my energy levels, pretend the ceiling is a magnet.... bing! Out I float!

2) Lay on bed, relax completely, build my energy levels, roll out of my body!

A tip for people who can't relax into trance easily (like me) - wake yourself up at about 5 in the morning, go for a wee etc then go back to bed and try... it's a lot easier to relax. The trick is to have a tired body but awake mind.

Here are more in-depth instructions. I think each individual will probably find a different technique which works better for them. Each person as always is their own best teacher, although of course reading other persons' accounts is a great starting point - especially from a motivational point of view (if he can do it then I can!!!).

9. You mention that at a young age you had many experiences but no understanding. What sort of experiences were these?

Things like re-occurring dreams where I was trapped and I couldn't get out using conventional methods. These dreams, I now realize, were like obstacle courses for me to get through. For example, I would be trapped in the bathroom and somebody would be trying to get in and I knew I had to stop them but if I pushed the door opened further... gradually after many nights I realized I could shut the door by using my mind rather than by pushing! To start with the door would close slowly and wave in and out with my mind, but I got to a stage where I could literally slam the door shut with a great force just using my mind!! I remember the first time I did that I realized a load of people were watching me and clapping. I passed the test! But of course at the time I didn't realize it was a test.

This mind work now comes in extremely handy with my spirit rescue. For instance, one time a man who had been killed was extremely fearful of me (who was trying to help him) and he threatened me with a razor blade. I needed to keep calm (or I would wake up) and I used my mind to throw the razor against the wall and out of harms way. He was amazed and dumbstruck which gave me time to explain what was going on! Cool - just wish I could do these tricks on the physical level!!!!

10. What skills do you feel you still lack, and are there aspects of yourself you feel you still need to develop?

I need to learn the most valuable lesson... Patience and trust!! I still have doubting periods but I recognize them straight away and know that they will subside - probably to do with the moon or something!! Having the abilities I do on the astral planes makes me completely frustrated when I wake up! "Why can't I move that with my mind! Why can't I read that person's thoughts!" I say to myself. But I know that all will eventually work out as it should. Forgetting is the main problem, we get so caught up in the illusion, even me.

11. What advice would you give to someone who has psychic abilities - telepathic, clairvoyant, out of body, channelling, etc - but doesn't know how to develop them and has problems relating to their friends and family and in going about daily life, because of this unusual perspective?

All I can say is that if the DESIRE is present then everything will fall into place. If you have no or little abilities but desire them (and for positive reasons) then eventually you will learn. Pay close attention to coincidences, they will lead you to where ever you want to go. If you are getting no luck then it's probably a persistence test. There are loads of tests that our Higher Self puts us through to see if we are ready and can handle them.

With regards to family and friends, if you are strong enough then be honest, but never preach - people are scared, just answer truthfully when THEY ask or show interest. Their time will come.

12. You ended your story by asking "So what's the purpose of life?" Have you had further insights on that?

After my 'big' experience I have not had any more real insights, I still have my spirit rescue experiences and those which are still helping me understand the mechanics of the astral planes, but not a profound 'next step' experience. I think I have probably been given enough to be getting on with, so to speak! I often forget what I learnt that day and then I will begin another series of 'mini lessons' which will eventually result in me remembering my big experience once more - then whatever problem I was facing seems tiny and dissolves away leaving me to enjoy life with a smile on my face!

13. What do you suggest to those who would like to discover themselves as spiritual beings, but don't have a clue where to start?

If you look too hard you are probably looking in the wrong place. You can't 'like' to discover, you either discover or you don't!! Live by one commandment: treat others how you would like to be treated yourself. Your intentions and motives are known and with a little trust and paying attention to coincidences all will make sense eventually...

14. What are your conclusions so far on the existence and nature of God?

(In my opinion) God is all. I mean really ALL. It is a force which IS us, not above us, not below us, but IS us. We are God, God is US, we exist because of him, he exists because of us. By us I mean everything: you, me, your pet cat, the sand on a beach. There is only one, but the one is split into an infinite amount. I am sorry this answer doesn't make sense - it's really hard to put into words.

15. What are the possibilities for individuals to develop?

Infinite. We can't help but to develop! Being on Earth right now is developing, reading this is developing. Some develop quicker than others but we all develop in one way or another.

16. What do you think of the talk of this being a New Age for this planet, with big changes happening in the 'vibrations' and energies here?

Something is happening, abilities are getting easier to access, it's like people are waking up so much more quickly, things which normally take ten lifetimes to 'sink in' are now taking months. It's a really exciting time, it's like we are now coming out of the dark ages.

On the most basic level we now have the Internet and TV, etc, and people have so much access to information to open their minds to things that before they were simply ignorant of. I believe knowledge is power and there are people who haven't wanted us to know certain things (witch burning, etc), but the people are waking up and asking questions. The truth, as they say, is out there.... and I honestly feel it won't be long till it is known by all. And when that happens I am sure something cool will happen!

17. Have you been able to obtain valuable insights on your travels, and are there teachers and guides you have encountered - if so, what have they taught you?

The only people I trust are the ones who I very rarely see. They speak to me by placing feelings inside me. They have taken form in the past depending on what I need to learn. If a person says he's a teacher then I am very wary. My best teachers let me teach myself. They 'guide' me - they are guides! I am sure this is different for each person though, so don't ignore everybody - just be careful of some spirit's motives.

18. How does it all work, the different planes, how they are connected, how to navigate between them, and so on?

I do think that all is ultimately one mind. But this one mind is also divided into many 'separations'.

ALL PLANES (INCLUDING THIS PHYSICAL ONE) ARE THE CONSTRUCT OF THE MIND. They are all illusions. The more we are 'stuck' in the illusion the less power we have. You navigate them by altering the focus of your consciousness. If you go in trance you can access most planes. There are self-imposed limits, for your own protection, with regard to which planes we can access. If your mind is Dark and of low vibration you could never expect to reach the very high planes. If you don't consciously choose where to go, you will automatically go to the one closest to your own vibrations.

19. Is it possible to manifest objects and to move them with your mental intention? How is this done?

Yes! It's hard to explain. You have to somehow KNOW that you can do it, and 1% of doubt will stop it from happening. I can't do it on the physical level. On the astral planes it is easier depending on your state of awareness at the time. You've just got to remember it's an illusion. Like the film, the Matrix!!

20. Do you find psychic abilities a curse or a blessing - or both - or neither?

BLESSING!!! Hah, easy!!! I would hate to see what I would have been like without my greater view of reality - I would have been worried and stressed all the time, now I am just so relaxed and really enjoy being alive. I am only sad when I FORGET and get too 'stuck' in the illusion.

21. Isn't it scary to make contact with the 'other world' and come face to face with fundamental issues like death? Are there such things as ghosts, beings remaining on the Earth plane for whatever reason? Is there a 'dark side' to the spiritual world, connected with things like evil and black magic, and if so, is that a danger to a good-hearted person? Do you think humans are meant to be aware of these things?

It was scary for 1 second when I thought I was dead, then I realized that THERE IS NO DEATH! So what can harm us? Nothing! People are scared but if only they would understand... I still get scared when I enter the low astral planes or see how these poor souls died - I've seen some horrible sights, eg, a man blowing his head off with a gun only to find himself still alive and puzzled. I sometimes have to see these things in order to help explain what is happening to them. If I get scared then my vibrations slow down and the 'mission' is aborted - I get stuck in their illusion! The key is to remain strong.

There is not just good and evil... there are just many separations between one scale of being and another. There are people who use the energies for the 'good' of all and others that use it for selfish purposes. I have encountered demons but most of these are self-created by the minds of scared people - because the biggest thing to remember is that BELIEF CREATES - especially in the afterlife. This is why positive thinking works... and this is why negative thinking (black magic) works. This is why some people who have NDEs experience hells or heavens. However there is a flow and a pattern to the way things work (harmony) and things that are in harmony tend to come out the best!

Ghosts aren't scary, they are just normal people. If they were evil in life they probably would be evil after they die, but luckily in the afterlife they are not found in the same places as the good people, they tend to find themselves in the darker planes with beings of the same though patterns (i.e., not very nice people) and they can stay there until they are willing to move on and upwards (become better people).

All aim to progress and that is the natural flow of the universe!

And yes, I think humans are meant to be aware of these things, especially now. I think the knowledge was lost but it wasn't meant to be, slowly the light is coming back. Nothing is 'wrong' in the grand scheme of things so everything is really how it should be - and each person will become aware eventually whether they fight it or not.

Believe, because you create your own reality. God is living in his own dream as many, many characters. You are one of those characters. The thing is, each Character IS God, in totality. When a character knows (remembers) this, it is called being "God realized" - or enlightened. The external 'dream' (that we experience as our reality) is created by the beliefs and desires of God (which is us). Never under-estimate the power of your own belief. BELIEVE in your own belief... your own Godly power, and you can consciously create and direct the movie of your life... If you can dream it, YOU CAN DO IT. Do not entertain doubt - by doubting you are simply believing in the non achievement of your dream! "Consciously directed positive mental energy"— that's what its all about!

22. Do you meet other beings on your travels who are living humans? Are they dreaming, and/or do you sometimes meet people who are able to operate independent of their body like yourself?

I meet loads of dreamers! That is so funny, seeing what people do in dream states and the babble they talk! When I do my spirit rescue I sometimes meet other normal people, such as a lady called Bernette who told me she lived in America. I tried to look her up on the Internet the next day but didn't really gather enough information about her to locate her. I will try to get some details I can verify soon but I never seem to think of asking at the time - maybe that is for a reason too!

23. In what different ways do people generally react to their death?

Most people are calm, there are always people to comfort them and they are unquestioning... they take it all in their stride, probably thinking they are in a strange dream, they know something is different but because their pain has gone and they feel good they are generally ok about it.

Some however realize what is going on and try to fight it, they don't want to die, they may want to finish something, revenge maybe, or tell people things. These people focus so much on getting back to Earth that they become Earth-bound, and they can't even notice the higher frequency beings who have come to help them.... and this is where people like me come in! Our vibrations are still low as we are attached to our bodies in physical, so when we visit the astral planes and try to help them they CAN actually perceive us. I feel we are quite appreciated for this valuable service as many spirits get trapped for hundreds of years until they are ready to 'look up' so to speak.

I only help them cross right the way over. I just get them to realize what they must do - which is to notice their family/friends and go with them... sometimes I even ask them if they can see a light and tell them that they should go through that light. So unfortunately I don't know exactly what happens once through!! You will just have to wait and see - I am sure it is good! There are quite a few books on regression between lives which I feel give quite an accurate description about what to expect, although I feel that as always it depends on what your mind is willing to perceive... the film WHAT DREAMS MAY COME is the closest to what I personally believe will happen.

24. Can it be overwhelming, all the possibilities of communication open to you if you tune in? And does this sometimes intrude into your privacy and peace of mind?

It ADDS to my peace of mind! We can't genuinely experience peace without realizing these things.

l am not really like a medium, I only get the experiences when I desire them - or choose to acknowledge them. I don't always help dead people though, sometimes I create my own worlds and just chill out! Sometimes I've even created a nightclub and created a new song - which I then play on my keyboard when I wake up!! That's great and I feel lucky to be able to do it! WE ALL CAN & WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next: Your First Spiritual Experience

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